Reality has finally made its presence known and I am slowly trying to come to terms with it. Today I met with a counselor from VDBVI to discuss the possible disabilities services that would or could be available to me. I was excited to finally have my meeting with the counselor, but I was also scared. Because when you start to recollect on what was said, what can be done or how long it will take for you to hear back, you become a little discouraged. I tried my hardest to not feel as discouraged by making it know that I knew about a lot of the things she was telling me about. But REALITY didn’t hit until the counselor walked out that door and I was left alone to face myself and her positive yet the truth of what the future may hold for me.
I am new to the world of vision loss and having a disability. On the outside I appear as a soldier and ready to win this battle. But on the inside, I am a terrified young woman who feels lost in a sense. What do you say to yourself when you know it is time for a change and your may not have the adequate amount of resources? How do you explain to your loved ones that life is going to be different from you? How do you tell them, even though I have a disability, I am still the woman you all know.
It is a different battle everyday I wake up and start my day. I am a woman just trying to leave a memorable mark in the world. I want people to know my legacy and try to follow it and achieve more. I have so much planned for myself and I think REALITY hit me at the right time.
It is time for a change and I cannot be upset or beat myself up about it. Because if I do, I have already lost the battle and might as well give up and forget about how hardworking, driven and focused I am to be the woman of today’s future society. Like my grandmother use to always say,
“You can’t always figure everything out, sometimes you just need to leave it in Gods hands and let him take care of it”